Author: Dr. Michael Johnson

I really didn’t want to give any money to him. Even though the presentation was excellent and it seemed a very worthy cause. Who could argue against it? Of course we all want people to be safe from violence, especially innocent women and children. I’ve seen the pictures on television.

I just didn’t want to give, even though I knew I should. So I used my best delay tactic. I looked him straight in the face and said, ‘let me pray about it.’

That is actually a good way to work my way out of doing what I know I should do. I pray about, muse upon, consider, meditate and in the end forget about the whole thing and go spend my money on something I want for me.

Try it out yourself. The next time someone hits you up to help someone in need, pray about it.

Proverbs 3:27-28 Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, When it is in your power to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, “Go, and come back, And tomorrow I will give it,” When you have it with you.…

James 2:15 If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, 16and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and be filled,” and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that?…

Exodus 3:14 God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM”;

I bounced this off a friend who will remain anonymous (D. M.), before writing it. I assume he will remain my friend afterwards. But it occurs to me that our Heavenly Father is really focused on Himself. It is all about Him!

Not only was mankind created in His image, designed for His purpose and to express His glory, we were also allowed to fall into sin by His permissive will and then redeemed by His only Son through His own resurrection power to be restored to a holy relationship with Him.

When I asked D.M. about this he smugly replied, yeah…, and…, so what? Of course it is all about Him Michael. Do you have a problem with that? If so, take it up with Him privately and don’t bring my name or initials up in the conversation.

So I did just that. I asked the Almighty what that was all about, this self absorption as I saw it. It was my Job moment. He didn’t skip a beat. Who, or what else could absorb Me?

Job 38:3-4 Dress for action like a man; I will question you, and you make it known to me. “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding.

David expressed this in 1 Kings 8:27 “But will god indeed dwell on the earth? Behold heaven and the highest heaven cannot contain you.

And it is recorded in Acts 7:49 ‘Heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool.

And once more Colossians 1:16 (TNIV) For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him.

And in Colossians 1:19-21 For it was the Father’s good pleasure for all the fullness to dwell in Him, and through Him to reconcile all things to Himself, having made peace through the blood of His cross; through Him, I say, whether things on earth or things in heaven

God is all that and more because He alone is I AM. He alone is worthy of praise and honor and glory. And yes, He alone can claim rightly to be self absorbed, because only He can contain Himself.

D.M. stood aside me, laughed and said…, I told you so!

My friend Douglas Miller is gifted at the understatement. He cautioned me about the temptation to sin carefully. That, he described as being on the verge, the edge, the almost sin. It is keeping the appearance of being nice, good and polite while at the same time keeping my private hidden habits.

The author Jerry Bridges describes this as Respectable Sins in a book by the same title. Because we have avoided the word sin, we substitute things like mistake, habits and addictions. No one is at fault for these failures of our flesh. We can blame our genetics our environment and even bad luck.

In careful sinning we don’t really sin, we get away with something that is harmful but only suffer a slight injury.

The Bible leaves no room for this.

Ezekiel 18:20 The soul that sins, it shall die.

Romans 3:23 All have sinned and fallen short of the of the glory of God.

Better be prayerful not careful about sin and ask Christ to redeem your from sin’s grip.

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 6:23 KJV

I actually knew this from the time I met her. It is what attracted us to one another. I saw it in her eyes, and she heard it in my voice. It was inevitable that we would share this. God would use this contagion to manifest His mercy and grace in us and through us. So we got married.

We were relatively early in the manifestation. Only a few signs and symptoms showed, but it was clear that if left unchecked it would lead to the death of both of us.

There was no use in calling in experts for advice. They would only conclude the same. Death awaits. This death comes slow. It starts with allowing the other to have the last word. That is an ongoing process frequently interrupted by the need to get even with an ‘I told you so’.

A loss for the desire for earthly gain follows closely thereafter. This meets strong resistance heralded by the envy and jealousy of seeing others accumulate and prosper by world standards.

Weak knees and nausea develop as we try to avoid the appearance of evil. We became more aware of our entertainment and appetite for pleasure.

This contagion causes heart trouble. Our hearts were troubled when we saw people hurting and going without the necessities of life.

It caused mind troubles, as we were continually invaded with thoughts of how we could better serve the under-served the underclass the under-appreciated.

It caused nervous system disorders. It gave us a heightened sensation in our hands all eyes our ears and eventually it affected our speech. We longed to touch and hear and smell and feel the way Jesus does.

The terminal signs are beginning to set in. Our desire to impact and infect the world is becoming the principal cause for which to live. That cause is to make Jesus the Christ known as Savior of the world and soon returning King.

And as noted, it ends in death. The death of self will and self ambition. We are determined to be united in this death. Jesus bids us all to join Him.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer in alluding to this infection wrote:When Christ calls a man, He bids him to come and die

John 12:25 Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

God our Father likes to wait. It seems a waste of time to me. I would rather He just get it over with and destroy the wicked, save the righteous and get to the movie credits. But He does not work that way.

1 Peter 3:9 9The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.

His love is longsuffering, patient, and never weary.

Isaiah 9:17 For every one of them is godless and an evildoer, And every mouth is speaking foolishness. In spite of all this, His anger does not turn away And His hand is still stretched out.

Effective love is not efficient. It waits. Christ waits for us.

1 Corinthians 13:7 (Love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

God wastes nothing. He will have His way, on His terms, in His time. Love is not efficient as we see it. It is God’s will that all should come to know Him and our times are in His hands.

Smelling our children’s breath had become a nighttime tradition. We wanted to instill good habits in our children and dental care was one of the more challenging ones. They had become accustomed to the nightly inspection and the command: “Let me smell your breath”. This was to be sure that every night they would routinely floss and brush their teeth. It is not that we did not trust them but, well, I take it back. We did not trust them! So to be sure they had obeyed we would make each one of them stand, open their mouths and we would take a ‘whiff’ for the scent of toothpaste mint. It worked most of the time.

This routine had become a bit boring but necessary to keep the dental bills down. At the end of one busy night our youngest daughter Keturah came to make her declaration of minty breath. She crept quietly down the stairs after the others had passed inspection. She then proudly lifted her night shirt to reveal her bare two year old chest and declared, ‘smell my breasts!’ I am not sure what made her believe she had anything to inspect, but she was certain we would not find anything to impugn her. She was right. She passed inspection. We never got to the tooth part.

Self breast examination has been one of the foundations of early cancer detection for decades. Though it has been marginalized by new imaging techniques of mammography, ultrasounds, CT scans and even MRI in some institutions, it is still considered an essential adjunct of personal responsibility for health care. It has even in some instances replaced the doctor even touching the patient. Oh the marvels of modern medicine and the ‘no touch’ technique!

However, nothing can replace personal responsibility. We live in an era of blame. We blame our parents, our government, our teachers, our churches and even our friends for choices we make. We have the ability but not the desire to control our own behavior when it comes to things we know to be harmful. We eat too much, drink too much and indulge in all manner of things harmful to our bodies and minds.

Self breast examination allows the small lumps to be detected early enough at a stage where the tumor can be prevented from invading the lymphatic and blood vessels. A small lump can be invasive and kill.

Small sins are equally as lethal. They invade before they are even detected.

The sins of lust, envy, jealousy, un-forgiveness and lying, seem like small lumps, however, they are lethal. In an attempt to satisfy our flesh by avoiding embarrassment, we cover our tracks with a variety of tricks. Money trails, travel documents, phone calls and any trace of our sin is hidden. Of course this deception costs. It invades our finances and our relationship with family and other friends. It affects our schooling, our job, and before long, it has metastasized to every part of our lives. We steal time, reputation and even the emotion of those whom we love.

It is time to do a self examination of our breasts. We can detect the tumor while it is still curable and before it is visible to others. That is the best chance for cure.

We have taken our faith for granted. It is this sin of presumption that allows us to sin and take God’s grace for granted. We don’t need to live holy, or so we think because after all, we are forgiven.

Ro 6:1 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?

2Co 13:5 Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?

“Pull me closer please, yes closer than that!” It was to be an intimate dance. The male partner was reluctant to get too close, but upon his female partner’s insistence, he did pull her closer and closer. It was not close enough apparently and she said again: ‘pull me closer still!’ I think it was Marx (mind you Groucho the comedian not Karl the philosopher) who said; ‘If I held you any closer, I would be behind you.”

Intimate contact puts me in a vulnerable position. Hugging, shaking hands, sitting next to people are all situations and actions that leave me exposed to a variety of possible infections and even relationships that I don’t want to explore. So I make it a ‘habit’ to be very careful how close I allow anyone to get.

I recognize that my personal life is somewhat reflective of my spiritual condition. The odds of course of me getting some infection by touching someone are at best remote. Most of the diseases that are passed require a lot more than a handshake or sharing a soda or a seat. However, I keep my distance in most instances because I don’t want to be known for who I really am. I am hiding myself from others. I would rather they only know me from a distance and I prefer not to know much about them.

My relationship with God is much the same. I really don’t want to get too close to Him. I might catch something from Him. He might infect me with a desire to change my lifestyle, my choices, and my priorities. He might want me to give more of myself to those who need a kind word, a decent meal, a smile or even a touch.

So I keep myself as far away from God and His word as I possibly can. If I read His word the Bible, it will cause me to look at myself not as the infected, but as the infector. That is, I will start to see myself as not so pure and clean. I will begin to recognize that it is I whom others should be avoiding.

I am the one with the ‘holier than thou’ attitude. I am the one with the ‘don’t tell me what to do’ face. I am the one with the ‘I told you so’ stance. It is these attitudes that are highly contagious and I am sure I have passed these infections on to many people.

I need a more intimate walk with God in order to make better choices in life. It is this intimacy of drawing closer to Him that will enable me to get closer to others in my personal life. It is this intimacy with God that will help me to help others.

Yes, I will allow Him to pull me closer. He will be behind me after a while. In fact He will be all around me and all over me. That is true intimacy.

Jas 4:8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you