Out Of The Closet

I’m coming out the closet this year
I refuse to live in constant fear
That others will know that I lay claim
To that great and marvelously holy name

I’ll no longer pretend to be another good guy
Just praying enough to look good and get by
It will no longer bother me who knows or sees
If I fold my hands or bend my knees

I refuse to act ‘religious’ and pretend
Worried about whom I impress or offend
I will live out my faith as though seen by God alone
Coming out of the closet, knowing His blood did atone

Mark 8:38 Whosoever therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.

No Resolution

I don’t want your resolutions
I already know where you stand
I Am the ultimate solution
Just do what I command
If you will only just surrender
Just give in and do as I say
My love is surreal and so tender
But things must be done My way
The new promises you make are not lasting
They vanish the moment you encounter new stress
Things like diet, without even fasting
Before first night falls, you failed this first test
You believe you can stop lustful behavior
Yet you watch and listen to the soft porn
You neglect to meditate on the Savior
You miss the whole purpose for which He was born
Your old disputes and grudges you still treasure
Though you promised to make that phone call
It seems being hurt gives you pleasure
So this resolution will once again stall
Just let go of these matters of trifle
You can’t change you, so don’t try to pretend
For you don’t have the power to stifle
Each year has proven, just look at your last end
Don’t resolve to be the best that you can be
If falls so short of whom I can make of you
Surrender, submit, and obey me
No resolutions, instead I’ll make you brand new

2Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

Porous of the Poor

I have been spotted! The black face trick is not working. I am surrounded by dozens of other faces with as dark a hue as mine, but somehow, I still seem to stick out. I am dressed in the same inconspicuous, casual attire as they wear. However, it does not work. A voice cries out my name; ‘Michael! Michael! Over here! Come over here!’

Without thinking I look up, unwittingly confirming my identity. After that, the rush is on. The seemingly quiet stroll through the market place has now become a mine field for me. The merchants and beggars have taken notice. ‘The rich American has arrived. Let’s go sell him our wares, or at least tell him our woes. One way or another, Michael will part with some money today.’

This may seem a bit of an exaggeration, but it is actually right on the mark. I have found it almost impossible to befriend the common man here in Kenya, without being…., well actually on the mark. I am marked because no matter how I look at it, I live a life of a multimillionaire compared with 90% of the Kenyan population. I don’t have to worry about water, food, clothes, electricity, and transportation, health care or even entertainment. I have two dogs that ingest greater than twice the caloric intake of the average child, and they never have to work for it. I hire guards to keep watch at night over my accumulation of ‘stuff’. They lose sleep and could potentially lose their lives, just so I can have the luxury of the internet and a variety of pizza toppings.

So why do I complain when I am confronted in the market with other black faces who track me down with the accuracy of an implanted computer chip? Why don’t I just give as they ask of me? Why don’t I just give ungrudgingly, without expecting in return? Why don’t I just give generously and gregariously?

The reason is that I don’t really know how to give. After 18 years of service in missions I still struggle with giving. How do I help the ‘Pourous of the Poor’? I coined this phrase to mean, no matter how much I give, it seems to never fill the gap. My own cup of material wealth is literally overflowing, into the saucer, onto the table and staining the table cloth in the process. It spills on my shoes and on to the nice clean carpet which serves to comfort my well heeled feet.

I have more than enough and yet, the more I give, it seems the more they want, need and have now come to expect. The vessel into which I pour my overflow seems to be full of holes, truly porous. It never fills up.

I know I will always be a mark. I can never know who is a friend, foe or fan. In fact the only true distinction is made when I am welcomed into a home and generosity is extended towards me and nothing is asked in return. Because this is so infrequent, I have become ‘paranoid’ when it comes to making even casual comments about the nature of my work, or my education.

I refer to myself upon entering a home or marketplace as ‘Michael’. This is not solely out of humility (though I am very humble!?!). You can stop laughing now. It is my best attempt to hide amongst the poor so that I can learn of their true desires, without the guise of being the ‘learned, enriched and enlightened one’. It is a feeble attempt to say the least because I really know no matter how I try to identify, I can always leave. I can pretend to be poor, but it is only like playing house as a child. We would make mud pies because it was fun. We would pretend to go to work. We would pretend to own a business. If we lost the job, or the business failed, we always knew we would eat that night. The mud pies were not for eating. However here, food is so scarce and expensive, just as in Haiti, who knows just how far people will go. They could muddle through a meal of mud.

That is why the poorest of the poor call me ‘Michael’ and not ‘Doctor Johnson’. I recognize that very few professionals, dignitaries or politicians in this country would allow themselves to be treated with such indignity as to be called by their first name. They would most certainly not forego the half dozen handles denoting their titles; e.g., B.A. M.D., FACS, Dip. ABS, CDEFGHIJ.., etc.

Just how do we satisfy the longings and fill the needs of porous of the poor?
Jesus had this very same problem. I think He may have invented it. He recognized that the ‘porous’ you will have with you always. He knew for certain that people in the market place would chase Him down, seek Him out, no matter how He tried to blend in with the crowd. He was well known to have everything they needed or could ever desire. Healings could be had from the hem of his garment, or the spit from His mouth. Thousands could be fed, just by placing in His hands the lunch of a little boy. A word spoken from Him could raise the dead from their graves and pay the taxes from the mouth of a fish. He had power. Yet He decided to go in the guise of the common man.

That is where I must start to meet the needs of the porous of the poor. Right now I give from what I can stand to waste from my wealth. I am giving from what I carefully measure so that I don’t miss it. I dare not commend myself as generous.
Giving starts with giving ourselves. We must allow ourselves to be marked. We must allow ourselves to be vulnerable. It is a difficult balance: to be vulnerable yet vicious. That is to be a peaceful as doves, yet harmless as serpents. Knowing how to say no and do so because I don’t want to feed into the cycle of dependency and patriarchal, feudalist, neo-colonialism is a very fine balance. I don’t know the answer.
I do know that we must allow ourselves to be amongst the porous of the poor. We do so because ultimately we are amongst the porous of the poor. God recognizes our poverty of spirit and He calls us to sit face to face with those who know poverty in a way we will never know it. When we submit to this call, we will understand how to fill the longings and true needs of the porous of the poor.

Afraid to Abide

I am afraid to open my Bible
I am afraid of what it might say
It might even start a revival
I will have to do things God’s way

I am afraid to get too close to Jesus
I am afraid to walk by His side
He threatened to make me more like Him
If I would let Him near to abide

So I stay as far away as I can
Keep the music and TV on loud and clear
I drown out His voice and His calling
Influenced only by what I see and I hear

This fear of course does not help me
It keeps me from being the best that I can
One day I must claim the Savior
I’ll regret deeply the days that I ran

John 15:7 If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto

From Rags to Stitches

From a mud hut to the White House
From a village to town
The world has watched in awe
As a man of no renown

Came from unknown circumstances
From humble beginnings and abode
He now holds reigns of power
Which earthly prophets had foretold

No he is not our blessed Messiah
Though he does profess His name
He has indeed ascended
To an earthly hall of fame

Like the Jesus he embraces
He has assumed an enormous task
To stitch these rags we all now wear
Into clothing is what we ask

Dear Lord we acknowledge our indulgence
We confess our selfish greed
We repent of lust, and hateful anger
It is these stitches that we need

Can any good come from his place?
Can any value there be found?
It is still the question of the ages
It still baffles. It is profound.

We ask God’s blessings on this leader
We plead the Holy Ghost abides
We ask the rags be mended by stitches
We pray that Christ stays by His side

God bless Barack Hussein Obama…, in Christ’s name we ask this.

John 1:46 “….Can there any good thing come out of Nazareth?”

1Corinthians 1:27-29 But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: That no flesh should glory in his presence.

Romans 13:1 For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.

1Ti 2:1-6 I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour; Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto them knowledge of the truth. For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus; Who gave himself a ransom for all, to be testified in duemtime.

Rich Rats and Poor Dogs

Our storeroom is designed for non-edibles. Things like spare car parts, essential power tools that I brag about, but never use and old fishing gear that I faithfully take out for my alternate decade outdoorsman activities. We are typical Americans. We collect stuff. In 32 years of marriage we have amassed a fortune of things which we can neither evaluate objectively, give away nor sell. We hope our kids want it, but they have no doubt begun their own collection of American treasures. The prospect of no future generations laying claim to this mountain of wealth made seeing the rats run through our treasures in the storeroom even more distressing.

In 2002 Kay discovered that the snake which had been living in the storeroom had been killed by the gardener. So the rats having no predator to inhibit their productivity obeyed God’s commandment to be fruitful and fill our storeroom. Rats were everywhere.

Kay and Keturah had returned to Kenya several weeks before me that year, and were charged with the responsibility of getting the house in order and initiate the ministries prior to my arrival. It was a big task, made even bigger by the invasion of hundreds of furry critters. Kay tells me that as she opened the doors and saw the first varmints scamper across her valuable furniture she promptly slammed it shut and used my name in vain. I thought I felt my ears burn.

Time has passed. This is 2009. We have now fumigated the boll weevils; flea bombed for fleas, ‘eliminated’ the rats and are ready to stuff the storeroom all over again. This year we are set to use it for keeping the foodstuffs purchased to feed hundreds of children in orphanages. We will purchase maize, beans and porridge mix. Prices of these essential food items have skyrocketed due to drought and that deadliest of all diseases ‘GREED!’ Highly placed officials in the grain industry have somehow been able to manipulate the prices and availability of commodities to insure that the only well fed are the very rich people and the rats. The very rich have no problem in purchasing food at any price. As for the rats, they know how to fit in to every small hole in every large storeroom no matter how secure it may seem. They laugh at the poor dogs.

A ninety kilogram bag of beans (about 190 pounds) has doubled and tripled in price to about $70. To keep this in perspective, one child can eat a minimum of 250 grams of food (about one half pound) daily. For 90 children that means one bag of beans will last four days. We currently provide food for 700 plus children. As our supporters gave us $5000 to purchase food, we will acquire 70 bags of beans. 70 bags at 90 kilograms per bag will give us a total of 6,300 kilograms of food. For each kilogram we can feed four children. That means for the total of 6,300 kilograms we can provide 25,200 feedings of beans. For 700 children these beans will last about 36 days. That is, if the rats don’t get it first. In order for us to feed these children with a healthy basic diet, we really need a minimum of $60,000 per year, if the price of food does not go up. Ask yourself. What are the odds food prices increasing this year?

The rats eat will eat well if we don’t secure the storeroom. They could swarm our storeroom. That is why I have termed them rich rats. When compared with the poor dogs in the slums where we will distribute some of the food, the rats have it made. The dogs have it worst of all when compared with other members of this food chain. The food chain looks like this in Nairobi. At the top are the middle class people, like us who have enough to eat and even enough to throw away. We don’t live in, or near the slums. We just drive by and marvel how the raw sewage trickles down the streams into these semiprivate abodes.

These dwellings of mud and sticks are designed to house 16 people in 40 square feet of space, with headroom of six feet. Bend down to enter. Hold your nose if you plan to stay. There is no electric lighting, but your eyes will adjust to the dark because the smoke from the charcoal stove and kerosene lamp will make you squint. We could accommodate two such families in our storeroom, but we would have to sell some of our treasures first.

Lets’ look at the food chain again. The rich and middle class carry in their mounds of food and have their bags of rubbish hauled out to piles in the streets. This upper crust composes about 10% of the population of Nairobi’s 4 million people. The other 90% have access to their discarded excess. Their discards make up the essential nutrient source for many of the poorest slum inhabitants. From the crumbs of their tables, there is a rapid descent into desperation.

Along the streets, men sleep face down in putrid piles of warm, wet refuse as comfortably as on beds of sweet clover. They are not bothered by the swarms of flies. They are narcotized by sniffing glue (gas is too expensive) and are oblivious to their still awake foraging and hungry companions who are looking for something digestible and least likely to cause diarrhea or vomiting.

The poor dogs survive on the left over scraps that chickens won’t eat. As roaming cows rummage through garbage and litter, the dogs fend off wandering goats, which are defending their turf from the muddy ducks. The edibles are contaminated further with animal waste supplemented by the elimination of children and adults who find it easier to relieve themselves on the less trodden paths than the crowded pit latrines. The dogs eat the rotten corn meal mush, moldy kale and rotten fish bones. It is a real study in urban survival for domesticated animals.

The rats in our storeroom are the super rich, but after all, they aren’t man’s best friend. Come to think of it, neither are the urban poor. It is all in perspective. I guess that is why the dogs don’t mind. It was after all the dogs who licked Lazarus’ sores.

Lu 16:20 And there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, which was laid at his gate, full of sores, Lu 16:21 And desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell from the rich man’s table: moreover the dogs came and licked his sores.

3 visits One Visitor

My comforter came by last evening
He pulled me close to His side
I felt warm within His embrace
It felt good to by His side

He hugged and softly caressed me
His smile and His touch felt so sweet
He massaged my emotion worn body
From my head to the soles of my feet

My Lover stayed the whole night
He covered me with personal care
His whispering helped me sleep soundly
It felt good that my Savior was there

His kind and gentle demeanor
Pulled and tugged at my heart
I knew He would meet all my needs
He’d never, no never depart

My Father awakened me this morning
He asked me how was my rest?
He assured me through the day I’d be challenged
But that He would be with me each test

3 visitors, with one single agenda
One Godhead, one Trinity
One vision, one purpose, one will
To save and sanctify me

He Soothes Me

He knew just how to soothe me
He knew just where to touch
My wounded emotions and my feelings
They were worn so thin, so much

So I exposed my frail emotions
I let Him know just how I felt
Putting aside selfish notions
I bowed my head and knelt

Please comfort me dear Savior
Please embrace me in your arms
Apply your loving touch
Shield me from all harm

You see I don’t know who to turn to
I don’t know who to trust
I would like to be alone with you
Make it just the two of us

It was then He drew me closer
It was then He held me near
It was then He whispered sweetly
‘Dear child, there’s nothing you should fear’

For I am with you always
I am always by your side
Surrender all your cares to Me
Draw close, with Me abide

Oh the sweetness of His touch
The gentle, warm caress
Yes He knows just how to soothe me
He knows just what is best
Mt 11:28
Come to me, all ye who labour and are burdened, and
I will give you rest.

Seduction in Shopping

A beautiful woman stood next to me in the grocery line. In fact, she was ‘drop-dead’ gorgeous, almost as pretty as my wife. (That should make up for the first line). But at this point, I was not thinking about my wife. (There go those points!)

So, I started talking to her. It only seemed natural, especially since Kay was nowhere to be seen at the moment. After all, what could be the harm? We were here, in the same line, and there were many things we had in common. She had bread and milk and cheese and dog food…, and…, well, what could be the harm? We talked a bit and it never occurred to me to mention Kay’s name, nor the fact that I was married. That is, until Kay stepped up with the broccoli and spinach. ‘Oh, by the way, this is my wife, I said sheepishly’.

I looked at Kay and exclaimed. “Hey sweetheart! This lady and I were just talking about dogs!” From Kay’s reaction I know I should douse myself with flea powder as I would be sleeping with the dogs that night.

Such is the scenario of seduction. This scene never really happened. Like the disclaimer on so many television shows, it is only a portrayal of events that might happen. Or is that true?

Every day as a Christian I am confronted with the challenge of denying my first love. I am enthralled with something, or someone and to mention that I am in love with someone else is inconvenient. I would rather appear to be free, unattached and in tune with the times than to confess that I belong to Jesus.

The Bible tells me that I shall love the Lord my God with all of my heart, with all of my strength and with all of my soul. Jesus said that is the first and greatest commandment (Matthew 22:37-38).

Any relationship that puts Jesus in second place will ultimately be destroyed. God commands and clearly states that I shall have no other Gods but Him (Exodus 20:3). This is not only a commandment but also a statement of fact. Any god, person, thing, habit, goal, or desire that I put before the Lord God will ultimately disappoint me and can even destroy me.

Back to the lady in line with me. As we finish our shopping, I am again enthralled with just how beautiful my wife really is. Having her with me has kept me from falling into sin. She has been my salvation from sin and a reminder that I am called to be holy.

Loving God is just that way. Denying Him allows me to drift into shameful relationships and practices. Owning Him openly as my first love gives me the freedom to walk through the shopping lanes of life, completely free to choose the things I want in any aisle, as long as He is recognized as my first love.

Salvation from sin and the grace to keep me from sinning come only in openly acknowledging that Christ is Lord.

Mt 6:13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil:

Seduction in Shopping

A beautiful woman stood next to me in the grocery line. In fact, she was ‘drop-dead’ gorgeous, almost as pretty as my wife. (That should make up for the first line). But at this point, I was not thinking about my wife. (There go those points!)

So, I started talking to her. It only seemed natural, especially since Kay was nowhere to be seen at the moment. After all, what could be the harm? We were here, in the same line, and there were many things we had in common. She had bread and milk and cheese and dog food…, and…, well, what could be the harm? We talked a bit and it never occurred to me to mention Kay’s name, nor the fact that I was married. That is, until Kay stepped up with the broccoli and spinach. ‘Oh, by the way, this is my wife, I said sheepishly’.

I looked at Kay and exclaimed. “Hey sweetheart! This lady and I were just talking about dogs!” From Kay’s reaction I know I should douse myself with flea powder as I would be sleeping with the dogs that night.

Such is the scenario of seduction. This scene never really happened. Like the disclaimer on so many television shows, it is only a portrayal of events that might happen. Or is that true?

Every day as a Christian I am confronted with the challenge of denying my first love. I am enthralled with something, or someone and to mention that I am in love with someone else is inconvenient. I would rather appear to be free, unattached and in tune with the times than to confess that I belong to Jesus.

The Bible tells me that I shall love the Lord my God with all of my heart, with all of my strength and with all of my soul. Jesus said that is the first and greatest commandment (Matthew 22:37-38).

Any relationship that puts Jesus in second place will ultimately be destroyed. God commands and clearly states that I shall have no other Gods but Him (Exodus 20:3). This is not only a commandment but also a statement of fact. Any god, person, thing, habit, goal, or desire that I put before the Lord God will ultimately disappoint me and can even destroy me.

Back to the lady in line with me. As we finish our shopping, I am again enthralled with just how beautiful my wife really is. Having her with me has kept me from falling into sin. She has been my salvation from sin and a reminder that I am called to be holy.

Loving God is just that way. Denying Him allows me to drift into shameful relationships and practices. Owning Him openly as my first love gives me the freedom to walk through the shopping lanes of life, completely free to choose the things I want in any aisle, as long as He is recognized as my first love.

Salvation from sin and the grace to keep me from sinning come only in openly acknowledging that Christ is Lord.

Mt 6:13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil:

The Other Cheek

If it is peace that I want
If it is joy that I seek
I will find it only
When I offer my cheek

For it is not in revenge
That is the mark of the weak
But true strength is shown
When I offer my cheek

I can’t find God’s best
Unless like Christ I am meek
I find my Father’s favor
When I offer my cheek

In the valley of self pity
From anger’s mountain peak
I can do no harm to others
When I offer my cheek

Find true rest dearest child
Here Jesus does speak
If you claim to be His
You must offer your cheek

Mt 5:39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall
smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.