Category: Blog

The shortest nerve in the human body is the first cranial nerve, the olfactory nerve. It hit my first nerve first. The smell was different, and yet reminiscent. It reminded me that I was in a place I did not want to be. I was outside of my usual element and this time, I was in a dormitory for homeless men. It was different from my visits to the prisons, or even the mud huts and slums of Kenya. I felt this was a bad fit for me. Then God reminded me, of course if I felt comfortable, that I was in the wrong place. ‘If it fits Michael, it shouldn’t.’ If I felt at home, normal, within my element as I watched the dozens of men around me, then I had missed the mark.

Serving Jesus should always have a sense of being ill at ease. I should always be wondering if I am in the right place. The moment I feel ‘this is perfect for me’ then it no longer is.

If God allows me to put Him or His will for me in a box, bag, case or cabinet that makes me feel comfortable then He is no longer God.

I pray that God will not allow me to feel so comfortable and at ease with the sights, sounds and smells around me that I can perfectly ‘predict’ His present will for me. If it feels good to me, it may very well not feel good to God.

If it fits, if it smells good, then maybe it shouldn’t.

He is as intimate and warm
As the vapor from each breath
And as He pulls me closer to Him
I feel comfort from His chest

For my lover knows my weakness
He knows my desires too
He whispers in my ear
‘I want to pleasure you’

I know just where you’re hurting
I have not come here to tease
I know your secret desires
I am here to give joy and please

But at first you must surrender
At first you must let go
Accept that my love is tender
Then true pleasure you will know

This surrender it will cost you
Your free will is lost in mine
You must lose all other lovers
To enjoy this love divine

Lose all those hard habits
Lose all you claim as rights
Lose all of those ‘must haves’
I’ll show you how to spend your nights

For when I’m your only lover
I won’t come close if others are there
I am jealous and yes vengeful
Now draw closer so we can share

De 4:24 For the LORD thy God is a consuming fire, even a jealous God.

Jer 3:1 but thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again to me, saith the LORD.

I hang it in clear view
So everyone can see
My source of great personal pride
My doctorate’s in disparity

I have no use for meekness
Although I have great humility
I’d like all to warmly admire
My doctorate’s in disparity

I have the best life offers
I do give a bit to charity
My studies note there’s always poor folks
My doctorate’s in disparity

So I stumble on in comfort
Never seeing with clarity
Why bother with compassion
My doctorate’s in disparity

If it brings You great glory
Though it may cause me great pain
Though all my bones be broken
Please break them once again

If it indeed makes me more holy
Though it may seem quite insane
If my bones and joints are crumbling
Please break them once again

If it helps others get their healing
If others will somehow gain
From my bones in trauma and turmoil
Please break them once again

My bones are in your hands Lord
They are marked with sin’s deep stain
And since You alone mend them
Please break them once again

Psalm 38:8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.

Lord please make me blind
To the wrong that I perceive
That others may have done
To the hurt that I receive

Lord please make me deaf
Close my ears to bad words spoken
So my mind won’t stay focused
It will keep my heart unbroken

Lord please make me dumb
Shut my mouth from self defense
It only makes things worse
When I speak they take offense

I surrender all my senses
All the rights to get even to attack
If it makes me more like Jesus
Take them Lord, don’t give them back

Mark 9:47 And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out: it is better for thee to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye, than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire:

I claim that I am most humble
Even others say, there’s no doubt
But if they really knew me
I have much to be humble about

I toot my own horn, my trumpet
I display my meekness in shouts
I stick out my chest while truly
I have a lot to be humble about

I throw tantrums over small things
When I don’t get my way I pout
I claim I defer to others
I have a lot to be humble about

Humility is really like vapor
The steam from hot teapot spout
Once noticed in air, it vanishes
I have a lot to be humble about

I pride myself on reputation
God knows me within and without
He knows my inner most secrets
I have a lot to be humble about

Jesus I need to be like you
I remain in a humility drought
I thirst for your sweet meekness
I have a lot to be humble about

1 Peter 5:5 Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all [of you] be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resists the proud, and gives grace to the humble

There is no single right pill
There is no perfect dose
Until I let the Christ in
The cure is not even close

I outsource ministry
Of mind, emotion, soul
I adjust the medications
Treating parts, but not the whole

I order the correct x-ray
The appropriate consultation
Timely surgical intervention
No change in patient situation

Until I recognize my falling
This profession is no job
When I hear it’s Jesus calling
I serve best when serving God

Matthew 9:20 And, behold, a woman, which was diseased with an issue of blood twelve years, came behind him, and touched the hem of his garment:

I don’t want revelation
Just makes me work more
I prefer the situation
Stay as it was before

Miracles sound enticing
Special healings and such
Like sweet cake with the icing
Keep me from that Spirit touch

If the Spirit so desires
That I truly help the poor
Let Him first let me retire
Then I’ll give a whole lot more

I am pleased that I acquire
Much more than I really need
All the things that I desire
All the stuff that fills my greed

Please God don’t infuse me
With some miraculous insight
I would rather you excuse me
I don’t want to do what’s right

James 4:3 You ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.

John 14:13 And whatsoever you shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.

Lord I want much more power
To do things truly great
Forgiving and loving to start with
Learning to be patient, to wait

Lord I want to be wealthy
In good deeds and tender mercies
Closets and jewel boxes full
Lord give me plenty of these

Make people to notice the difference
From the gifts in my life you bestow
Let them marvel with awe and wonder
That through me, your grace will show

Matthew 5: 15 If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. 16 Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand – shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.

I get out of bed and shudder
I would rather worry than pray
Woe is me I am so scared
That’s how I start my day

Is catastrophe going to happen?
What awaits when I leave the front door
Since I don’t know the answers
I guess I will just worry some more

Self concerns crowd my mind
No time for bended knee or bowed head
Why worship and pray to my Father
I would rather worry instead

I can’t serve two gods, I know this
So I had better decide what is best
I can’t cling to both at the same time
It is in worship that I will find true rest

Matthew 6: 24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?

32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knows that ye have need of all these things.

33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.