“Can I sleep with him? We really do love each other very much.”
That was the sweet and seemingly innocent question of this 15 year old girl to her pastor.
He scratched his gray head. It was not an easy thing to answer in a way that would satisfy her own desires for affection and pleasure and at the same time meet what he knew to be God’s demand and expectation for holiness.
“Do you really love him?” He was stalling now. It was a tactic that worked when bargaining for a car, or negotiating the cost of home renovations and repairs. However, she was not carrying clipboard or wearing overalls with a hammer. The likelihood that she would give in to a rational, reasonable answer was slim.
“Of course I love him! And he loves me too. We are committed to one another. Why do you think I want to sleep with him?”
She had the obvious appeal of emotion which can never be second guessed. After all, who was he to say they were not in love?
The pastor yielded. “Yes then, I suggest you go ahead and sleep with him. When are the two of you going to get together?”
“Oh pastor, I am so glad you said yes. We plan to go out together tonight to a party and afterwards to his apartment. He has his own place and we can sleep together until just before midnight. I told my parents I would be home late. I really do appreciate your advice on this.”
“Hold on, he held up his hands. Not quite so fast yet please. I just want to ask you that when you have intercourse with this love of your life, that means you are totally committed to him is that right?”
“Why yes of course. I told you we were in love.” She gave him the expression of ‘Well Duh!”
He went on. “I only ask because I want to know in the event that you are injured on your way home, something like a car accident or some other event, and you cannot have sexual intercourse anymore, would you both remain committed to one another?. If you can answer yes to this and know it in your heart of hearts, then by all means, do as you please. But if not, know that you are heading for a tragic relationship built on the momentary pleasure of sex, and not a commitment that honors God built on sanctification. Your body is to be holy and acceptable to God in all the ways you use it.”
She stood still. She was angry. The Solomon like answer had left her without the justification for her actions she had hoped.
She left the office, so he told me, and never discussed the topic with him again. She sought a source who would be willing to advise her in keeping with her desires.
How many times have I sought advice to justify my own course of action, knowing full well that I had no desire to please God, only myself.
Sleep with him if you would like, but know for sure if it does not honor God…, it will not be good for you.
Romans 12:1 I beseech you brothers by the mercies of God to present your bodies a living sacrifice holy and acceptable unto God which is your reasonable service