Author: Dr. Michael Johnson

Today was particularly challenging for me. I took an early breakfast at a local diner and I felt conveniently compassionate. The waitress seemed like she was on her ‘last leg’. I left her a big tip. I was in a generous mood and the food and service was well above average. After all, it was not enough money that I would miss it, and she could obviously benefit from it.

Then, I went to the local Thrift Store to dump off clothes that I had outgrown or had gone out of style. It was a big box of stuff most of which I had forgotten I even had. I wouldn’t miss them anyway.

I saw a man begging on the street. ‘Pour soul’, I thought. For once, this one looked legitimate to me, and since I had passed up several others who looked like con men, I decided to reach in my pocket and sort through the lint and pull out some coins. I would not miss it so it was not worth counting.

When I got home, wouldn’t you know it!?! Yet another bleeding heart request in the mail to help yet another overseas agency feeding the poor. I have been feeding these people for years. Aren’t they full yet? I made out a check and made sure the carbon copy came through and the memo was clearly written. I then photocopied the check for my records. I wanted to make sure how much I was giving because when tax time comes…, I might forget and miss it.

I am a very generous man. I just don’t believe in sacrifice. I give just enough to say I gave…, but not necessarily enough to make a real difference.

I will empty my refrigerator to feed the poor, as long as my cupboards are full. I will empty my storage bins to provide furniture for others, at least so I can fit the stuff from my garage in its place. I will empty my bank accounts, just as long as I know my next week’s paycheck is coming. I am generous…, but not sacrificial.

God does not work that way. Imagine if He had sent the world a gift that He would not miss. He sent His only begotten Son. This was not an act of generosity, but an act of sacrifice.

Next time I give…., I should miss it. I should feel the effect of what I give. It should inconvenience me. It should make me feel very uncomfortable. Otherwise, I am just being generous.

Give sacrificially as God your Father has done.

Hebrews 9:26
For then must he often have suffered since the foundation of the world: but now once in the end of the world hath he appeared to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself.

The disciples came to Jesus and said, send this crowd away and let them buy bread for themselves, for it is quite clear we can’t feed them with what we have.

This is my own paraphrase on Mark 6:36. It is the familiar story of Jesus performing the miracle of the five loaves and two fishes to feed over 5,000 people in a desert place. The disciples have grown weary of these hangers on. The crowds increased in number and so many of them were sick, lonely, desperate of hope. They knew this would never end and they would never be able to relax and just enjoy their own personal space at this rate.

What does Jesus do? He uses a young boy’s personal lunch basket containing a few fish and bread and feeds the crowd. Everyone is amazed because not only do they have enough to satisfy the crowd, they take up leftovers. Everyone had a fish sandwich.

What is clear to me is that every day I take the position of the disciples. After all what do these people expect of me? I have my own financial future to worry about. If I don’t take care of myself, who will? I need to have money for an emergency. The poor, well yes they are having emergencies every day, but I mean my own personal emergency.

Traditionally the phrase; ‘Let them eat cake’ has been attributed to Queen Marie Antoinette of 18th century France. It has been presumed to have been uttered in response to a report she received that the poor people had no bread to eat. This quote is embedded in history and I believe serves as a reflection of our current response to the cries of the poor who hunger for bread, medical care, clothing, housing, emotional and spiritual comfort. My response is, I am investing in my 401k, wait until I get my tax return, let me pay off my house and car loan…., and I will get to you next. I do you one better than Jesus in the desert with his fish and loaves. I say, let them eat a crab cake.

Go to the food pantry, the government food aid stations, wait until the Red Cross, World Food Program, or some other caring people are around. Have a crab cake. I have my own personal agenda to work out and as soon as I am done…, well you know the rest.

Jesus is watching. He tells me, what do you have with you now? Share it.

It is all smoke and mirrors. It is sleight of hand. I can appear holy, but only because I have distracted you. That is the illusion I create and am happy when no one pulls back the curtains or focuses on what I do, rather than what I say.

Avoid fornication in the flesh. Just watch it in form. It is in the music we listen to, the books we read, the movies we watch.

Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Don’t get drunk on inebriating substances. Instead overindulge in things that seem to cause no real harm. I have more than I can wear, eat, use, or even give away. But I am sober.

1 Corinthians 10:31 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

Greet my friends with a smile and my enemies with a smirk. After all, why pretend that these people will ever deserve any compassion from me?

Luke 6:27 But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you.

Ignore the good I see in foes. Point out their failures. At the end of the day, I am trying to help them improve aren’t I?

Luke 6:35 But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.

It takes a real artisan to get this down well. However, the world encourages us to practice constantly. The one who would be a true disciple of Christ must constantly unlearn these very natural, seemingly innocent tricks of the trade. It is a constant struggle. We can win.

Galatians 5:16-17 My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. 17 For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day.

I am a very respectable person because I know how to do the upscale sins. That’s right. I have certain sins down to a fine art. I practice on my wife. There is a long list we found reading through Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges. I have come to master over her is these sins. She can’t hold a candle to me.

1. Being inconsiderate doesn’t require a lot of practice, but once recognized, you have to harden your heart to keep at it. Take for instance, cleaning up after my own mess. I have grown accustomed to having someone come behind me and to the ‘dirty work’ for me. At least that is how it works in the hospital. I can’t get away with that at home.
2. At home I do what works to get my way. I dominate a conversation, not allowing another point of view to be spoken. I want the attention on me and my way of thinking. I got that habit after being in the hospital also. No one interrupts the doctor. So listen to me. It is my opinion that matters, not yours. I get to have the last word.
3. As a doctor, I can keep you waiting. It does not work the other way around. You have to honor my time. I don’t have to honor yours. I am more important than you, and the things I have to do are more urgent and more important than your trivial pursuits. So don’t complain, just wait until I’m done.
4. I can see through your cover up and I know what you are hiding. I consider it my right, or even my obligation to let the world know of what I perceive as your failings. It is my respectable sin of judging when I really don’t know what is in your heart or on your mind.
5. I will put forward a contest. Can you beat me at some of these respectable sins? I can really give you a run for your money! I get a great work out competing with my wife.

You can relax briefly on the short term profits of revenge. You can retire eternally comfortable on the dividends of gratitude.

Gratitude gives value to the gift or act of kindness bestowed. By saying ‘thank you’ I confer upon the giver a sense of goodness about themselves and their gift. Revenge, however, puts someone beneath me, back where they belong. I owe them nothing and I make sure they know it.

Revenge is profitable, while gratitude is expensive. Gratitude costs. It means I must express words of thanks for things, many times, I think I deserve anyway. I am owed something by the one who is giving it to me. Hence, I don’t feel compelled to say thank you. I don’t express gratitude because it causes me to ingratiate myself. It is humbling to admit, or confess this person’s act of kindness as something of value, which means they are of value to me also.

Gratitude is expensive, while revenge is profitable. I have the choice. Short term profit of revenge, or the long term benefits of gratitude.

I feel better about myself with revenge. I am more powerful. I have won. I have gotten my point across. Revenge is profitable.

God feels better about me with gratitude. His power is perfected in my meekness. Christ’s love shines through me. I have lost. God has won. Gratitude is expensive.

Matthew 5:38-44 (The Message) “Here’s another old saying that deserves a second look: ‘Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ Is that going to get us anywhere? Is that going to get us anywhere? Here’s what I propose: ‘Don’t hit back at all.’ If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it.

And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.

“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer.

Lord please make me ignorant. I keep score. I want to be recognized for when I serve, which is only about my ego. Make me ignorant.

Humility is like vapor from my mouth on a cold day. Once I notice it, it disappears.

To be a servant to Christ is to serve so deeply, walk so intimately with the Savior, that it is as natural as breathing. I never notice I am breathing, nor that my heart beats. Service should be just that spontaneous, unaware of self.

I am extremely self-absorbed. It makes my attempts at serving others a farce. Being truly ignorant seems impossible. Ask God. He can make you ignorant. Real humility comes only from the Savior. It is given to those who seek Him with a single heart.

Luke 17:10 So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do.

2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.

Philippians 2:5-8 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: 7 But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: 8 And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross